Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
