there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
