My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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