yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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