his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
