why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
