I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
