just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
