I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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