i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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