i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
