i barfeds in our rink
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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