you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
