i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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