I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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