Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
