I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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