ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
