Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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