Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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