so let's talk penis.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
