That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
it was like eating out sand paper
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize