i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
