I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
