wat bout pragnant strippers??
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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