Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
