I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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