pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
