pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
