woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
