Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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