problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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