She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
