I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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