Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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