We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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