my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize