maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
