mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
