I think scott just propositioned me for sex
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
