Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
