Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
this boner is exhausting
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
