U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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