Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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