I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
