I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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