Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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