he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
