God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
