i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
