Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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