I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
