no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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