Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
