she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize