We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
