he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
