Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
