is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
