i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We are two peas in an std pod
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
