I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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