come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
